livingmyths (
livingmyths) wrote2009-01-31 11:08 am
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Entry tags:
060: Musings
I did everything the deities wanted. I hope they'll let us be for a little while.
Tony... doesn't remember me and that's really really hard and makes me very sad.
But the sun is shining and the birds are out and three deer were in my front yard this morning to remind me of how beautiful things are.
I usually go into the Library at least for a while, but today I think I'm just going to sit in the sun at the front of my house and watch the animals and read a book and have tea. That will make me feel better.
Tony... doesn't remember me and that's really really hard and makes me very sad.
But the sun is shining and the birds are out and three deer were in my front yard this morning to remind me of how beautiful things are.
I usually go into the Library at least for a while, but today I think I'm just going to sit in the sun at the front of my house and watch the animals and read a book and have tea. That will make me feel better.
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I've never been so happy.
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And I've been a lot of places.
Except... the rez was nice. I liked it there. But my dad wouldn't let me stay.
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It just seems so surprising to meet someone who's actually happy to be here.
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I hear that a lot, but it's true.
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Perhaps it's good for those of us who are as jaded as I am to meet you.
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Well, I'm happy to meet you.
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Sometimes I change it for a while, but I always come back to Rain.
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And Rain was the name I got.
I didn't realize it at first. When I went up the mountain it started raining and I stayed out in it praying and praying for a sign. Three days and all it did was pour - no sign, no animal, not anything. And when I finally went back my dad was there and he dragged me away in the car, still all soaking wet and crying because the ancestors hadn't heard me, all they sent was rain, rain, rain. And then I realized that was my sign.
And that was my name.
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I wish I'd been able to choose my own name.
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You could go on your own vision quest.
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It wouldn't change a thing--I could, but where I come from, we don't really believe in vision quests or having one's ancestors give one a name.
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Except on the rez. But I couldn't stay there.
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