livingmyths | 011: Embarrassed

Entry tags:

011: Embarrassed

I'm feeling really pretty foolish today, but, judging from the other things I saw, at least I wasn't the only one and I was luckier than some people.

Abby, thank you for taking such good care of me. And please forget everything I said about - well, about practically everything.

Mr. Stark, I'm really sorry I didn't show up to work yesterday. I know it was supposed to be my first day and all, but I... really wasn't myself. I'm at the library right now, but if you still want me I can come today.

Anybody else, well, I'm kind of gonna be working in the most out-of-the-way places I can in the library.

And is it really true that Ianto's gone? He was so nice to me. I'm gonna really, really miss him, if it's true.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah...He's really gone.

And I'm glad you're okay.

He said I could sleep in the library whenever I wanted. I hope that's still okay.

Do people ever come back when they leave?

I'm glad I'm okay to. Not sure I would have been without you.

They do come back sometimes. I've done it.

So how much am I forgetting?

Good. And I'm glad you came back or I wouldn't know you.

Everything?

Which would suck since I like you.

You said "practically". How much is practically?

I'm smiling now.

Um... you can remember that I really like you and that we had cucumber sandwiches and tea together and that you saved me?

Great! I like it when you smile!

Oh...I detecting desperation in the writing tone.

It makes me feel all good inside when I smile.

Yes. Lots of it. I don't want... anyone to know the things we talked about.

That's the great thing about smiling.

Well, you don't have to worry. I won't tell anyone else.

It is, isn't it? I love to see other people smile or make them smile. I don't even care too much if the people are actually laughing at me.

Thank you. Because... it's stupid. And silly.

Exactly! Though, sometimes it sucks when they're laughing at you. But that's okay!

No it's not.

Only if they're really mean about it. But it's okay, I'm used to that too and it isn't so bad after a while.

Oh, it is. I'm just Rain and, well... It's just stupid to even dream a little bit.

You've had a tough life.

What do you dream about, Ocean?

It's just... life.

What do I dream...

Sometimes I dream I'm normal. Just like everybody else and not scared of all sorts of stupid things. And I have a little house that I'm not afraid to stay in - even if I'm alone - and all the books I want and... Sometimes, when I'm really daring, I dream that I have someone who really loves me and wants to be with me always or even just for a while, but he's really nice to me and good.

See? Silly. Things I don't get to have. Except the books kind of, because when I work here I kind of pretend they're mine and the library doesn't seem to mind at all.

Those are really nice dreams. Not silly at all, Ocean.

I bet you'll find someone really nice for you.

Maybe.

I'm kind of almost living in a dream world now anyway, right?

Yep!

It's kind of fun isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

Everyone is so nice to me here.

There are a lot of nice people to talk to! And be friends with!

I am pretty happy here. And most people don't seem to mind so much that I'm weird.

That's because you're not weird. At all.

Wait till I start answering your questions before you ask them!

That'll be so cool.

You always surprise me, Abby!

Well, no one has ever read my mind before that I know of!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject