021: Not Going Home

[livingmyths]

I was just heading home when I read that there had been an attack in the forest and everyone should be careful, so I thought maybe I better not go home.

Just telling people so no one will be worried. I'll stay in the Library or maybe up on the roof so I'm still with the stars.

I found a dead hummingbird today. It kind of makes me worried because hummingbirds are sort of magical, you know? They bring open hearts and joy and help create families and the death of one - well that kind of suggests sadness and grief and the closing off of hearts and that Bad Things are coming.

I set it out carefully on a bed of leaves and left a red flower by it so it would be comfortable as it moves on and sang to it, but I still feel sad.

Comments

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

No, but I have a friend who does and sometimeshe takes me flying.

I don't have a boyfriend or anything. Not likely to either, though I really wish that wasn't true.

Yes! Animals and sweets and before it rains!

I don't really have friends I do things with. Except Iron Man. But he has a lot of other saving people to do, so I try not to bother him too much.

[notrlyjesus.livejournal.com]

That's kinda awesome. Sometimes I'd like to just sit back, rest and let someone else to do the flying part.

Why wouldn't you be likely to get a boyfriend? You seem nice.

.... Why don't you have more friends? This place is full of people.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

It is fun!

I'm... I'm kind of... weird broken different.

And I'm kind of really shy.

[notrlyjesus.livejournal.com]

...people can be cruel about those that are different, huh?

Shy? I wouldn't know what that's like. Have you tried overcoming it?

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they can be. Most of the people here are nice, though.

I... wouldn't know how to start even.

[notrlyjesus.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I've noticed that. They're pretty easy to get along with.

...neither would I. Have you ever asked anyone on the network? Or is it hard for you to even ask in posts?

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

Ask how to not be shy?

[notrlyjesus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that. I know a shy person or two, but I don't think they know how to grow out of it themselves.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I could. So many things could go badly.

[notrlyjesus.livejournal.com]

Like what?

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

Like... maybe they'd make fun of me.

Or tell me the wrong thing to do to make me look stupid.

Or tell me that nobody wants to be my friend anyway 'cause I'm crazy.

Or be nice to me till they figure out how broken I am and then decide they don't like me anymore. That would be the hardest.

[notrlyjesus.livejournal.com]

Not everyone is like that, though. Some of them might understand just how you feel. And I'll hang around. If anyone makes fun of you, I'll tell them where to get off.

Double for if it looks like they're giving shitty advice, or waste your time with stupid stuff like no one wants to be your friend. Who says that crap beyond age twelve, anyway?

As for crazy or broken, who here isn't either of those? No one has any room to talk. But...broken? In what way? You seemed fine to me.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

Maybe, maybe I will then.

I... I have a hard time sometimes figuring out what's real and what isn't. And here where sometimes things ARE real that never were back home... well, it can get even more confusing for me and I get all turned around.

And I'm afraid all the time. Of silly things even.

And I can hear what people are thinking or what they'll do. Oh, but I try very hard NOT to listen!

[notrlyjesus.livejournal.com]

...has anything weird happened to you here that wasn't really happening? But I can see why that'd be confusing. This place is confusing enough.

That could also get annoying, along with the hearing people thinking. Not that I mind, since I think pretty much exactly what I say. There's few things keep to myself. If they don't pertain to you, please don't listen. Or at least don't tell anyone.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

Sort of. Or there were things I wasn't sure if they were real or not. I just get all mixed up sometimes.

I try really really hard not to listen. And if I do I don't say anything to anybody else.

[notrlyjesus.livejournal.com]

That's...complicated. Definitely not something I'm good with, at least.

What's your name, by the way? I've been talking to you all this time and didn't know. Mine's Setsuna.

Thanks. I'd appreciate that.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

I'm Rain. It's nice to meet you, Setsuna.