0119: And More Loss

[livingmyths]

Mat's gone.

He went out for a ride and didn't come back and didn't contact me or anything, so I went to the Hall and he's really, really gone. I guess the horse went with him because she didn't come back either.

I... I don't know what to do. All my house is memories of Mat and Tony. Part of me wants to go away and leave it and never come back again and another part wants never to leave it even for a minute because maybe there they'll stay more real.

Who will hold me when I sleep at night and make me feel safe and tell me I'm special? I loved Mat so very very much, more than I ever dared tell him.

I feel... I feel very small and lost.

Comments

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

[She nodded and managed a small smile.]

He was a very good surprise, Connor. Thank you.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, you struck me as th' type.

[He thought about what he said for a minute.]

The, um, type that liked cute animals, I mean.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

I like all kinds of animals.

[Her voice was earnest.]

Even if they're not cute. But I do like Rex. I've never seen anything like him before.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

No one 'as - he's extinct. His kind died out millions of years ago.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

[She looked sad.]

Is he very lonely?

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

[Connor paused.]

I dunno. Doesn't seem it. Always flyin' around the flat, playin' with Abby. Seems okay to me.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

[She considered that, biting her lip a little.]

Well... okay, then.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

Innit? He? He sayin' something I don't know?

[Now Connor's worried, not only did he accidently kidnap Rex to a pocket dimension, but he made the little bugger unhappy. Abby was going to KILL him.]

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

No, oh no.

[Now she was worried she'd upset him.]

No, he didn't say anything. I guess I was just thinking how I'd feel.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, well...

[Connor scratched his head.]

Guess I'd be pretty sad, all alone with none of my mates around. But... he's made new mates. Me an' Abby, her other pet lizards...

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

He does seem happy.

[Rain's voice was cautious as she tried to see if the little guy was okay. He seemed to be.]

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

Maybe he just needs more time playin' with someone like you.

[Connor smiled.]

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

[Her eyes went wide again.]

Oh, I don't know. I like him, but he likes you best.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

[He brightens.]

He does? That's... right nice to hear.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

[She nodded.]

He definitely does.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

Awww...

[He grabbed one of the treats, and tossed in the air for Rex to catch.]

You're pretty cool, too, Rex.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

[Rain gave a small smile as she watched them play.]