Living Amid the Myths

Mat's gone.

He went out for a ride and didn't come back and didn't contact me or anything, so I went to the Hall and he's really, really gone. I guess the horse went with him because she didn't come back either.

I... I don't know what to do. All my house is memories of Mat and Tony. Part of me wants to go away and leave it and never come back again and another part wants never to leave it even for a minute because maybe there they'll stay more real.

Who will hold me when I sleep at night and make me feel safe and tell me I'm special? I loved Mat so very very much, more than I ever dared tell him.

I feel... I feel very small and lost.

Bobby's gone. I'm going to miss him an awful lot. I already do.

And he left me this.



His name is Gage and I... I never had a pet or anything like that. Except our horse, but that's, well, Mat mostly takes care of her and he's responsible and good and I don't know if I can take good care of something like this. I really love him already, but what if I'm not any good at taking care of him and mess everything up? I don't want to hurt him 'cause I don't do things right.

I don't know if Bobby should have trusted me like this.

I think I'm going to go see the mountain today. Maybe not climb it, but at least to see it.

Ianto, I'm sorry I haven't been at the Library. I just... haven't wanted to leave my house for a while. I'll try to go tomorrow. Maybe I could work at night when no one's there? Straightening up and reshelving and everything? Make up some time that way?

Anyway, I'm not going to venture too far from home today. Just the mountain and right back.

Mat? I want to do something really nice for you - for being so good to me, you know? I just need to think of what.

I don't even need this curse to be happy or say why I'm happy.

I'm happy that I have such good friends like Mat and Tony and Abby and Chuck and Shin and Ianto and Barnabas and, oh, I can't even list them all!

And I'm so happy that my friends made me my beautiful house last year so I can be inside and still feel safe and I can lie on my bed and watch the stars or the wind blowing through the trees or the storms!

And I'm happy to be able to have the river and the forest and the trees and that I feel comfortable and safe there and I'm happy I get to work at the Library with all the BOOKS and that the Library likes me.

And that people like me here and I'm safe.

And so, so many other things!

ETA: And 'Mana! How could I forget to put in her? And our horse! See! I knew I'd forget all sorts of things and people, but they all make me happy even if I forget to put them here!

Rain sat in the middle of her favorite meadow by the river, laughing delightedly as plants of all kinds frolicked around and over her. She stretched up to touch the branch of a tree as it bent close to her as if whispering in her ear, living flowers twined in her hair.

Oh Shin, you were right! They do love me! I wish you were here, but I hope more that you're happy with your plants!

Why hello there!

Seems like I've arrived at a very interesting time from what I can see on this device.

That said, where's the best place for a girl to find some fun?

And is there anyone around who'd like to have some fun with a girl?

Come on, you know you want to help a new girl out.

I don't bite - unless you ask really nicely...


[ooc: The Years That Never Were curse. Rain's father decided her abilities were something to be taken advantage of rather than hated. So have a mind-reading, con artist, amoral, semi-slutty, willing-to-do-what-it-takes-to-further-her-agenda Rain. Leaving in an hour or so till early evening, but wanted to get this up and will return tags when I get back!]

Oh, I had the most wonderful time last night! The moon was full and I found a quiet clearing not too far from my house where I could see the moon and hear the river and I danced!

It was amazing!

Everyone should try it!

Actually, the moon will still be very bright tonight, so if anyone wants to come join me they're welcome to!

Thomas, can I come visit again?

I guess I have to think about things some more. Some people who are really important to me don't want to call me River because Rain is really important to them.

So maybe... maybe Rain is good enough. I have to think about it for a while.


[Private to Harry]

Harry? Is he all right? Can I see him?


[Private to Thomas[

Thomas... This doesn't change the way I feel about you.

I just want to help. Please let me? At least keep talking to me.

I'll be watching Orion and pretending I'm with you.

If anyone's looking for me, I'm going to be staying out in the woods for a while.

I've taken some time off from the Library and I just... I'm just going to go out and stay by the river for a bit.

Don't worry, I have my backpack with all my things and I have my Network Device so you can reach me. And if anyone wants to come visit I can tell you where I am.

So people keep promising they'll show me movies and then disappearing. Is there anyone who'd like to show me some soon? Before they disappear too?

Also... I'm wondering if people can tell me why people lie to other people. Or why they do things to hurt people who can't fight back. Or why people don't take care of children.

I couldn't make my brain be quiet today. Not even out by the river. So I came to the Library and worked, but the Library kind of sent me on a wild goose chase and ended up locking me out on the roof. Maybe my brain was too loud for it, too.

Anyway, I'm up here on the roof thinking all sorts of things I probably shouldn't and wondering when the Library will let me back inside.