0119: And More Loss

[livingmyths]

Mat's gone.

He went out for a ride and didn't come back and didn't contact me or anything, so I went to the Hall and he's really, really gone. I guess the horse went with him because she didn't come back either.

I... I don't know what to do. All my house is memories of Mat and Tony. Part of me wants to go away and leave it and never come back again and another part wants never to leave it even for a minute because maybe there they'll stay more real.

Who will hold me when I sleep at night and make me feel safe and tell me I'm special? I loved Mat so very very much, more than I ever dared tell him.

I feel... I feel very small and lost.

Comments

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

I go out to the river or I dance under the moon.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

That's really sexy that sounds like fun. Jus' go out and dance.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

I don't really feel like dancing today. I'm sorry.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

Well, y'know, that's okay, too. You sure there's nothin' I can do for you? You're too pretty to be this sad.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

I don't know, Connor. I wish I knew how to just stop, how to not feel anything anymore.

You're very kind to me.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

Can't stop feeling. Unless you're a machine... or a Vulcan... maybe some amoral hybrid alien-clone thing...

...but you're not, an' that's okay. You know, you really shouldn't be alone, Rain, sure you don't want company?

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Maybe?

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

Uh... tell ya what. I'll come by and if you don't want me there when I arrive, tell me an' I'll leave.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

Okay.

I'm in the woods by my house. I don't want to go inside just now.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

Alright, I can use your device to triangulate... yeah, I can be there in a bit, yeah?

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

Okay. Gage and I will be right here.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

You'll see me sooner than... well, soon. That sounded intelligent.

[ooc: Action y/n?]

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

I'll be watching for you.


[ooc: Action is lovely!]

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

[It didn't take long for Connor to find his way. He may be crap at wandering in the woods, but he was a wizard at adapting tech to weird things. He'd managed to integrate a modified GPS device and calibrated it to the City. It worked... mostly. Today was a good day and he stopped along the way to pick up a few things for Rain.

He approached her with his normal lack of subtlety, kinda stumbling in the forest undergrowth. He really wasn't the outdoors type.]

Rain?

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

[Rain looked up from the very large puppy who was doing his best to burrow into her lap and almost managed a half smile.]

Hi, Connor. This is Gage.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

[Large puppy with big teeth and something in his bag could hear it and twitched.]

Pretty, boy. He's um, trained, right?

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

She nodded and indeed Gage showed no desire to leave Rain's lap.

He's worried about me, so he won't go anywhere. And he's just a puppy so he's tired out. But he's a good boy.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

Good boy. Good, good boy.

[The bag gives another twitch and Connor moves his arm over it with a sheepish smile.]

So, I have, um, somethin' to show you - but can we go somewhere warm?

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

[Rain nodded and stood up carefully, leaving Gage to trail at her feet. She pointed at the little house built into the hill.]

That's my house.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

[Connor's eyes widened, he honestly hadn't noticed it before.]

That's yours? S'cool! But most people end up in those apartments an' the like, how'd you end up out here?

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

[She smiled a little sadly.]

My friend, Tony, made it for me. Because I'm scared to be inside houses and he didn't want to to be sleeping outside all winter.

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

[Cconor nearly facepalmed - because, yeah, wasn't Tony the name of the other guy who just left her? Nice, Connor, real smooth.]

It's fantastic - beautiful.

[He headed of toward it, still clutching the bag close to him.]

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

[Rain followed him, Gage trailing at her heels.]

It is. And the roof is all clear so I can watch the stars at night.

[She hesitated at the entrance, not sure she wanted to go in, then swallowed hard and entered.]

[itsnoteveryday.livejournal.com]

[Connor paused, letting Rain have the time she needed, trying not to shift on his feet too much. He followed her in, letting out a low whistle.]

Your friend was a right genius, this is, like, perfect.

[livingmyths.livejournal.com]

He was.

[Her eyes were sad. She made her way over to one of the comfy chairs and sat down, curling her feet up underneath her.]

You can look around if you like. Or sit and make yourself comfortable.