livingmyths: (Beautiful pensive side)
So people keep promising they'll show me movies and then disappearing. Is there anyone who'd like to show me some soon? Before they disappear too?

Also... I'm wondering if people can tell me why people lie to other people. Or why they do things to hurt people who can't fight back. Or why people don't take care of children.

I couldn't make my brain be quiet today. Not even out by the river. So I came to the Library and worked, but the Library kind of sent me on a wild goose chase and ended up locking me out on the roof. Maybe my brain was too loud for it, too.

Anyway, I'm up here on the roof thinking all sorts of things I probably shouldn't and wondering when the Library will let me back inside.
livingmyths: (Pensive face)
It's raining, raining, raining. And not the good kind of rain. It's cold and gloomy and I feel all unsettled inside.

And someone else bought poor Chuck at the auction even though I tried very hard not to let someone do that. I hope he comes back.

I keep looking over my shoulder, feeling like there's something there, like there's something scary right on the edge of my awareness or my memory or something. I don't know what it is.

I'm home now. I went to work at the Library this morning and stayed as long as I could, but when the rain started pouring down I went home before everything got washed out. Now I'm curled up on my bed watching the rain on the roof and thinking that this is just the kind of Rain and me that people don't like.

I don't blame them. I don't even like me like this.
livingmyths: (Open Smile)
I've really never lived in a place where there was lots of real winter. Not like here. And that means that I never really got to feel what it was like when Spring started.

It's amazing! The air smells different, flowers - crocuses - pop up in the strangest of places, buds are on the trees, robins are back - hopping in front of my house happily - and even the river seems... I don't know, happier maybe.

I can't believe that all my life I have missed something as wonderful as this!We should celebrate! Maybe have a picnic out here or something!

Tony? Did you plant the crocuses around my house so I'd see them in the spring?

Does... Does anyone know if Thomas is well? I miss him.
livingmyths: (Default)
I think... I think my dad may have wanted to kill me. He sure told me enough that he wished I was dead or that I should have died - instead, you know?

But there were a couple of times when I woke up and he was standing over me with this Look and I'd be so scared and the next day he'd cry a lot and get really drunk and pretty soon we'd be off somewhere else.

Saw lots of people die - kids mostly, but big people too...

I don't know why I'm talking about this. I don't like to remember.

And I'm still sick. Not so bad as when Tony and Mat had to come help me, but I can't stay up for more than a little while 'cause I'm just too tired. I'm really glad I can see the sky and the stars and the trees overhead from my bed or I'd be really not happy and scared about being stuck inside.
livingmyths: (Happy)
Happiness is...

- having people who care about you
- not feeling like a damaged freak all the time
- working in a place that you love
- having a beautiful place to live
- feeling safe
- pretending to be in a fairy tale
- dancing
- kisses

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livingmyths: (Default)
livingmyths

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